I went to an NF concert a week ago with Robbie. I was blown away. It was so powerful. I was so impressed. I would actually be a bit embarrassed to completely explain the way it impressed me.
Personal History
I’m going to categorize my life history here.
Don’t expect overflowing intellect.
I’m not an intellectual. Don’t expect examples of complex intellectualism here. I try to see it and say it as I see it.
Falling to My Death
As I have been reading my mission journals, I have come across many instances where I kept my past a secret. I’m not 100% sure what it was. The desire could have been from embarrassment or a feeling as though it was not appropriate. There was an extreme embarrassment around peers. Having to explain why I was so far behind my peers.
NYNYS Mission May 14-23, 1996
Nothing more counts than doing your best. What does it matter if someone is better? Will you become worse because you are focusing on them (something you are not) and not focusing on yourself (something you are)?
I am starting to respect my companion a lot. He’s actually a very good guy. He has a lot of excellent qualities. I am very much loving his companionship.
Kim Curtis – Angel of Light
One day I was standing outside a classroom, waiting for one class to end and another to start when this girl exited the classroom. To my astonishment, she was radiating with the most glorious light shining all around her. She glowed like an Angel. I instantly felt drawn to her. The next week I waited outside the door again, hoping to see this girl a second time. Again she was glowing with light. I knew I needed to know her, but I lacked the courage to talk to her.
NYNYS Mission – May 10-13, 1996
The whole day has been a Deja Vu. I dreamed this day. Everywhere I went everything I did, I had dreamed it all. I don’t know it was almost like a day of revelation. It was the weirdest feeling I can’t explain. It was just nuts. We may finally have baptisms. I’m learning a lot from my new companion. It’s like I know that my heavenly father wants me to have certain attributes. I know he is trying to get me to learn them. I dreamed them.
NYNYS Mission May 1-3, 1996
Some more mission memories. Joy. Looks like I was fighting a few personal demons. The funny thing is, I’ve faced these demons over and over again. Even 30 years later at unexpected times, they show their face again and again.
Sound of Freedom – Human Trafficking
I went to see Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny and the preview for Sound of Freedom played before the movie. Honestly, I knew it was coming out. I purposefully did not watch the preview because the topic is sickening to me. There I was, stuck in the movie theater watching the preview. I was so moved by the preview, I started to tear up. It was so much more powerful than I ever expected it to be.
NYNYS Mission April 28-30, 1996
Another round of mission stories. As I read these I remember a lot of the tension and conflict I had with my companion.
As I was new to leadership, I was the equivalent of an infant. I think he knew this and tried to take advantage of it.
Dandelions
I was mowing the lawn today and noticed a number of dandelions growing in the lawn. I’m not sure why but at that moment my thoughts reflected upon my neighbor David.