CLEAVE – Definition in 1812
- To stick; to adhere; to hold to.
- To unite aptly; to fit; to sit well on. [aptly- suitable manner; with just correspondence of parts; fitly; properly; justly; pertinently]
- To unite or be united closely in interest or affection; to adhere with strong attachment. [Father and I are one, be one]
- To part or divide by force; to split or rive; to open or serve the cohering parts of a body, by cutting or by the application of force; as, to cleave wood; to cleave a rock; to cleave the flood. Psa 74.
- To part or open naturally. [And the Mount of Olives shall cleave]
I have been studying Jewish Marriage Ceremonies recently. There is this concept that came up that I found strange and mysterious, but also fascinating.
There are elements of the traditional Jewish marriage ceremony that parallels other aspects of the gospel. Many of these things have wider and deeper meanings but are more or less hidden in plain sight because we do not know the ancient traditions of the Jews. Nor do we fully understand the bible.
- Last Day Prophecy
- The Garden of Eden
- The Plan of Salvation / Atonement
- The Temple
The concept that hooked me was the Ancient Yichud Room in Jewish Marriage Ceremonies. Now, it appears modern Jews don’t follow this tradition. And in fact, it sounds as though most Jews have not followed this tradition for possibly centuries. Some find it archaic; others symbolic of male patriarchy and power. But, just as the Jews were unable to fully understand the life and mission of Jesus Christ, I think they misunderstood the symbolism of the Yichud Room.
NOTE: I tried to study this topic. Surprisingly there was very little I could find with simple searches. I found a few people talking about it but never in any ‘spiritual’ context. See a few sources below. In modern days the practice and meaning have drastically changed. I think the modern-day interpretation is just as valid as a first touch or first moment together and is definitely not as unique as the traditional act and purpose.
In ancient times the Yichud Room was where a husband and wife would consummate their marriage, basically as part of the marriage ceremony. This was done in a private room with witnesses outside the door. The new husband and wife would consummate the marriage through a hole in a sheet of special embroidered cloth. The idea was that if there was no blood the woman was not a virgin and therefore could be stoned to death. This typically took place in the middle of the wedding festivities with witnesses for both the bride and groom outside the door.
NOTE: I had heard about this cloth thing decades ago and thought it was crazy myself. I didn’t realize it potentially could lead to someone being stoned to death. Also as a young man, I could only see the strangeness of the act and not the spiritual meaning behind it.
I was recently listening to a program where a spiritual interpretation of the practice was presented. They explain that the marriage ceremony as a whole is symbolic of the life and atonement of Jesus Christ. This first act of cleaving to your spouse as part of the marriage ceremony is symbolic of our worthiness or unworthiness. In this Yichud Room, none of us would be “virgins” and all of us would face death by stoning. We would all stand before God and our cloth or sheet would declare our guilt. We would all be unworthy to return to God. But our Savior, the Bridegroom would piece his own hand and use his own blood to declare us clean. Then because of his atonement for us, we will stand before God and be declared worthy the Savior to return to Father. [1:14:00 The Hidden Meaning of the Ten Virgins]
It adds another dimension or layer to falling short and requiring the grace of Jesus Christ for redemption. But like all the symbolism of marriage and marriage ceremonies, it dies the sacrifice of the Lord and the redemptive power of the Lord into the Ceremony. It’s not just about having oil in your lamp.
I think you need eyes to see and ears to hear with this one. In my 50 years, I had never considered such things. I only saw it as a strange ritual that crazy people performed. When it was explained it was mind-blowing. If you really sit down and consider what could happen to the bride. What could have happened to Mary when she married Joseph. We live in a more humane world today but there are honor killings in other faiths when a woman does not appear to adhere to a strict moral code. At the time this was practiced, and in the community it was practiced in, I’m sure this was very serious stuff.
Now I would like to address “Cleaving.” But first some scriptures. In the brief discussion above, we talked about that initial act of cleaving to our spouse which is commanded in the scriptures. How it fits into the traditional Jewish marriage ceremony and is symbolic of the atonement. But, we are also commanded to “cleave” unto the lord. How do those differ?
Deuteronomy 13:4
4 Ye shall walk after the Lord your God, and fear him, and keep his commandments, and obey his voice, and ye shall serve him, and cleave unto him.
Deuteronomy 13 (churchofjesuschrist.org)
Jeremiah 13:11
11 For as the girdle cleaveth to the loins of a man, so have I caused to cleave unto me the whole house of Israel and the whole house of Judah, saith the Lord; that they might be unto me for a people, and for a name, and for a praise, and for a glory: but they would not hear.
Jeremiah 13 (churchofjesuschrist.org)
Jacob 6:5
5 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, I beseech of you in words of soberness that ye would repent, and come with full purpose of heart, and cleave unto God as he cleaveth unto you. And while his arm of mercy is extended towards you in the light of the day, harden not your hearts.
Jacob 6 (churchofjesuschrist.org)
Doctrine and Covenants 11:19
19 Yea, cleave unto me with all your heart, that you may assist in bringing to light those things of which has been spoken—yea, the translation of my work; be patient until you shall accomplish it.
Doctrine and Covenants 11 (churchofjesuschrist.org)
Helaman 4:25
25 Therefore the Lord did cease to preserve them by his miraculous and matchless power, for they had fallen into a state of unbelief and awful wickedness; and they saw that the Lamanites were exceedingly more numerous than they, and except they should cleave unto the Lord their God they must unavoidably perish.
Helaman 4 (churchofjesuschrist.org)
As I pondered, I tried to reason within myself this concept of “cleaving.” For me, to cleave has always accompanied the scripture “cleave unto thy wife,” which carries a strong sexual significance, but also an act of devotion and commitment. So, if you cleave unto God, what exactly is that saying? Honestly, it is saying something different. We are clinging or uniting in an emotional non-sexual manner with God. Think of the definitions at the beginning of the post: to hold to, to unite aptly, and be united closely in interest.
So, I pondered. As I pondered I thought about a husband and wife; the emotional and intimate non-sexual relationship. As I did I thought of things that bond a faithful husband and wife to each other.
- Fulfillment
- Protection
- Completion
- Dependent upon each other
- Support in all things
- Vulnerability where the spouse knows all our weaknesses
- Forgiving
- Joint purpose
- Commitment to each other
- Sense of being one with each other
- Love and Charity for each other
- Prioritizing the other over one’s self
- Putting your complete trust in your spouse
- I’m sure the list could be longer…
I don’t think you could completely “cleave” unto your spouse unless your hearts were one and you gave all your heart, might, mind, and strength into that relationship.
We are the Lord’s bride. He is our bridegroom. He is betrothed to us. He will return and claim us as His. He will come with trumpets blowing, with a procession, ready to celebrate. We will either be ready or we will not. If we are ready, He will lift us up and carry us to a feast that he has prepared in the home of His Father. When he presents us to His Father, He will declare us clean and worthy. It will be His blood that shows we are clean. He has prepared a mansion for us. We will be able to rest with him. There is nothing sexual about it, but rather a mountain of symbolism that is deeply beautiful if you can eyes see and understand it.
I guess that brings up the point, if I have a half-hearted approach to living the gospel, am I cleaving unto God? The word cleave has a much stronger meaning than hold or touch, or reach out to. It implies that there is such a deep emotional connection needed. Where you give all your physical and emotional effort to hold on to it.
Are you putting that type of intense effort into your relationship with God if you don’t read your scripture and pray?
NOTE: I am completely aware of my weakness in writing. I hope you will look beyond my personal weakness and understand the deeply beautiful spiritual concepts I have attempted to address. I may have errored in sections. I have tried to follow the spirit and be honest about what I see and understand.
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