Doctrine and Covenants 9:9
9 But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong; therefore, you cannot write that which is sacred save it be given you from me.
Doctrine and Covenants 9 (churchofjesuschrist.org)
That is what I felt I had all weekend. I wanted to write something, and nothing would come to me. In fact, I had one moment I thought I had written something semi-wrong and controversial and I worried about it and worried about it. I searched through my website to see if I had written what I thought I had written, but I must not have because I couldn’t find it. I guess it just wasn’t a good weekend to be writing anything.
Onto this week. I’m trying not to feel anxious about it. As thought something must be posted or even forcing something in the name of writing anything. I’m trying to take a deep breath and just let things come to me.
I did ponder quite a bit over the weekend. It has been months since I spent a lot of time fasting. The leadup to my surgery I hurt so bad I had to eat and take medicine. I was just trying to remain comfortable. Now, 6 weeks after my surgery, I haven’t felt the pain in so long it is a memory I am talking about and I almost want to minimize how much it hurt back then because it does not hurt like that anymore.
I also needed to give myself some time to heal and keep my body nourished. I have felt myself walking normally again. I have felt my strength return. This last Saturday I woke up at 6 AM and started working in the yard and it felt good. I mowed the front yard and edged it, fixed a broken sprinkler filter, picked up apricots from our tree, cleaned out the garage, and I worked on my garden. I worked at a nice steady pace and my body felt strong through all of it.
As I reflected on that, I realized I needed to do more to strengthen the other aspects of my life. I don’t know what it is, but I feel so much more spiritual when I regularly fast. It helps me physically and mentally. It draws me closer to God. It helps remind me that I need to do the small things (reading scriptures, praying, always thinking of God).
Anyhow, the only thing I felt 100% sure of over the weekend was that I needed to start fasting again. Other than that, I felt like I had a stupor of thought all weekend.
Can I add one thing about the weekend? I am not a huge Celine Dion fan. But I do have a lot of respect for her ability to sing. When you talk about these rich and famous people, you don’t really know if the things you hear about them are true or false. So many of them are morally bankrupt, but they have a gift from God. I watched her performance from the opening Olympics opening ceremonies and I cried listening to it. It was one of the most powerful songs I had ever heard. I listened to it a second time and cried again. I know they paid her some two million dollars to perform. Well, I think it was worth every penny they paid. She was high up on the Eiffel Tower and dressed in a very modest flowing white gown. She looked heavenly, like an angel.
https://youtu.be/smKqMiGXxl4?si=_X7aCkYftYg_7-Aw
