If you read my posts you know this blog is about being worthy of entering Zion. It’s not gloating that I am perfect because I am far from it. It is hoping that one day in the future I will stand before the gates of Zion and be worthy to enter. I have no idea if my destiny will lead me there or not. But if it does, I want to be prepared.
So, how did I do this week? Is just me analyzing my life. Am I doing the things I should be? Am I living the gospel? Am I having spiritual experiences? Am I trying to improve myself? Am I trying to be a disciple of Jesus Christ? If I am doing those things, I am more than likely on the right path.
Why speak about personal things like this? I know how hard it is to do the simple things. The little things you often feel make no difference because they are so small. I hope to encourage others that they do matter. Others who read this may have no experience and not know where to start, or how to live the teachings of Jesus Christ. Maybe something I say with help give them insight. I’m not too cool to say that I need to block out some time to study, or that I need to kneel in prayer.
Honestly, I have been stumped this last week and not known what to write. So, I figured I would write one of these posts. I went to bed a little grumpy. I half didn’t want to go to sleep until my daughter came home for the evening. I ended up sitting in bed with my eyes closed for about 4 hours until I decided I was more awake than tired and I should just get up and do something productive. I actually thought of something I would like to do in conjunction with this blog. We’ll see how that turns out. (More about that later)
It’s been a long emotional week. I started with a hip surgery on Friday, followed by a lot of pain and suffering over the next few days. Things have started to look up and I realize I am through the hardest part of it. However, I have lived with a gimp leg for so long that I developed a lot of bad habits, bad posture, and lost a lot of muscle in my leg. It will take some work to build it up, but I am looking forward to it and my renewed abilities.
My Elders Quorum president came over the other day and spoke with me for a bit. He is a good man. He’s not your normal Elders Quorum president. He’s kind of like, President Monson (in storytelling and loving-kindness) mixed with Dave Batista who plays Drax in Guardians of the Gallaxy (in physical strength and stature). If you can imagine that combination. Anyhow, he lovingly rebuked me and asked me to humbly accept some help. He caught me in a moment of vulnerability. Whatever he said, it was what I needed to hear. As he spoke I felt the Holy Ghost enveloped me. I wasn’t just crying, but tears were gushing from my eyes. Where did all of that come from? I haven’t felt like crying during this entire experience and the Elders Quorum president made me sob like a baby.
The beautiful experiences have not ceased. I have felt an outpouring of love in so many ways. I have felt Heavenly Father supporting me and my family in so many ways. It would be hard to explain them all. It has left an impression on me.
Physically, I am healing.
Spiritually, I feel focused and strong. I have not been able to fast, but I don’t feel that is expected of me at this time. I have pondered a lot. I have spent time studying. I have had this desire to understand the life of Christ better. Honestly, a lot of this desire has been because of watching The Chosen. I have realized even though I have read the New Testament so many times I feel like an infant in my understanding. I can admit, I feel I know nothing. Anyhow, I have been studying the “harmony of the gospels” but combining that with Jesus Christ and the full standard works. I have prayed. I often feel my prayers are the most focused and sincere when I kneel. I can’t kneel. That has been hard. My mind is so easily distracted. The other night I put in earplugs to go to sleep. There was something taking place that was extremely distracting. I was surprised with how quiet everything was, I was surprised by how clear my thoughts were. I immediately started to pray in my mind as I lay in bed. I never use earplugs because I have never liked the feeling. For some reason, It was amazing the other night.
Family, I feel we have been blessed. We have struggled with many challenges this year related to the physical and mental health of multiple family members. Those have all been under control as we have navigated this surgery and recovery. I have seen my wife and children displaying more love and patience than expected. It has been a real blessing.