I was welcomed to the world of Mental Health a few months ago. On the surface I thought it was ADHD, depression, or anxiety, I didn’t fully understand the depths mental health could reach. I’m sure I still only understand a fraction of it. But I’m experiencing a new layer or level of understanding.
When this mental health journey started, I wrote a post titled “A Dark Tunnel“. I had never been there before. As I walked up to this tunnel, I had the feeling to stop and take a photo. It was almost as though the Holy Ghost was telling me that this particular tunnel was significant. The strange thing is that it’s just an ordinary tunnel that goes under a road. There is nothing special about it. So what was so significant? The location? The symbolism?
Now, a few months later, and after having found myself looking into that same tunnel multiple times. That tunnel is beginning to appear as a physical destination of this trial but also a symbol of healing. My heart tells me I will find myself at this tunnel occasionally.
When you approach this tunnel you can’t see it. The tunnel springs up at the last moment. When you stand in front of it, it is massive in size with large walls that spread out as though it is reaching out to envelope you. Inside it is dark and long. Things you encounter inside the tunnel can’t always be fully distinguished. Only the silhouettes of their shapes are distinguishable because of how dark the tunnel is and how bright the light is on the other side. The whole time there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The light is bright and there is hope. As you reach the end, the light overwhelms you. On the other end, the scenery is different than the entrance but has all the same characteristics of what you are familiar with. It’s a new outlook, a new perspective, and new way to approach life.
For whatever the reason, as these episodes flare up, we are continually finding ourselves in this location. As we discussed overcoming and growing from this experience, the desire has been to go to that location. What is so special about that location? I don’t know. My son would need to speak to that. But on a personal level, I feel there is a tremendous amount of symbolism that parallels this less-than-desirable journey.
Less-than-desirable.. that is funny. But it is the truth. This has sucked.