There was something really important I wanted to share with my kids at breakfast today. It was a thought I had heard during General Conference. This morning it popped into my head, the whole family is sitting here, I have an important thought to share. For some reason at that perfect moment, I was drawing a blank. I could not remember what the thought was. I looked through a dozen conference talks unable to find it or remember what it was.
After the family was done eating and had all left the table, I found it! I went in the bathroom and told my wife I found it. She was half listening and had the hair dryer going while getting ready for church. I said it was the talk about “the private times in your life.” She looks at me funny and turns off the hair dryer and asked, “are you sure you want to talk about that?” Puzzled I asked, “what do you mean?” And I restated, “It was the talk about the private times in your life.” She said, “oh, I thought you said, private times with your wife.”
I laughed pretty hard. Of course there are some things we keep private as husband and wife.
I remember listening to this talk on my way home from work the other day. I missed most of general conference due to a family health crisis. When I hear this talk, the spirit filled my heart. And I wanted to shout, Yes! How true it is! I wanted my children to hear it daily. Here is the story as Elder Steven Bangerter told it:
One Saturday morning when I was 13 years old, I was mowing the grass as part of my weekly chores. When I finished, I heard the door close at the back of our house and looked to see my father calling me to join him. I walked to the back porch, and he invited me to sit with him on the steps. It was a beautiful morning. I still recall him sitting so close to me that our shoulders were touching. He began by telling me he loved me. He asked me what my goals were in life. I thought, “Well, that’s easy.” I knew two things for sure: I wanted to be taller, and I wanted to go camping more often. I was a simple soul. He smiled, paused for a moment, and said: “Steve, I’d like to share something with you that’s very important to me. I’ve prayed that our Heavenly Father will cause what I say now to be indelibly imprinted in your mind and on your soul so that you’ll never forget.”
My father had my full attention in that moment. He turned and looked at me in the eyes and said, “Son, protect the private times of your life.” There was a long pause as he let the meaning sink deep into my heart.
He then continued, “You know, those times when you’re the only one around and no one else knows what you’re doing? Those times when you think, ‘Whatever I do now doesn’t affect anyone else, only me’?”
Then he said, “More than any other time in your life, what you do during the private times of your life will have the greatest impact on how you confront challenges and heartache you will face; and what you do during the private times of your life will also have a greater impact on how you confront the successes and joy you will experience than any other time in your life.”
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2024/04/32bangerter?lang=eng
I wrote in a recent post that I wanted to tell my children over and over again that the most important thing they could learn in life was to feel and recognize the Holy Ghost. Since that time I have addressed it with my children a few times. I know I can do better.
So as a dad, I have conjured up in my mind this idea of being the perfect dad where we have daily scripture study and recite these two things. 1) The most important thing I can do is to feel and recognize he Holy Ghost, and 2) protect the private times in your life. Then I would ask them each if they had an experience they would like to share where they felt the Holy Ghost.
What will really happen? We will be lucky to crack a scripture open 2 days a week. And, I’ll bring this topic up once or twice a year. Why is it so hard? It’s hard because it’s like herding cats. They all have a minds of their own and simply don’t obey.
Honestly, I’m going to give it more effort than that. I know I can do better than twice a year.
Image used without permission. ChurchofJesusChrist.org