Yesterday I was feeling as though my spiritual experiences were few and far between. I feel that I need one once in a while to assure me I am on the right path in life. Then today the flood gates opened.
Some time ago I had a co-worker, I will call him “my friend” from here on out, who was in some serious trouble and abruptly move to another state. We were all concerned about his situation when he left. Circumstances were that the then manager would not allow him to work remotely, therefore he was now living in another state, living with his parents, unemployed, with a lot of complex personal baggage strung around his neck.
I had come across him on a website and made a few attempts to reach him with no success. Then out of the blue this morning he messaged me. His message painted a picture of complete despair since he had left us, including multiple attempts at suicide, and a request to never talk to him again.
My heart was broken for him. I knew all the troubles my friend was facing. I had many conversations with him about his life. I was his manager before he was given a new manager. I felt as though I knew his character (and flaws) and I knew his personal worth.
I wrote him back expressing my sorrow for his trials and assuring him of his worth and value. Then to my surprise, he asked for my number so he could call me. This is where things became really interesting.
We drove around together on many occasions for work. We had many conversations about life, faith, family, work, and many other things. On one of these occasions, he told me he was a Satanist. In his words, a Satanist basically believes in the individual, not God. On another, I shared my belief in God and my conversation story.
Today, my friend told me a story about how he was driving away from court one day, with all of the burdens of life heaped upon him. All he wanted to do was end his life. He pulled over on the side of the road and the story I had told him about hearing a voice was upon his mind. He remembered how that voice confirmed to me that there was a God and that he knew me and that experience changed my life.
My friend sat on the side of the road praying that he could hear a voice also, and it didn’t come. He was bitter that a voice never came. But my friend didn’t stop pondering on that message. When he was finally able to secure employment the first person he met at work, asked him if he knew Jesus. And he immediately thought of me.
He has since navigated those dark days. We reconnected this morning and shared this tender and emotional moment. I could hear the tears in his voice as he expressed the pain he had gone through and the spirit filled my heart.
On one hand, I have never heard of my story helping another person. Or that it turned someone’s heart to God. That is the only thing I have hoped for in sharing it.
On the other hand, why did my friend not hear a voice in his darkest moment? I can only say that God works in mysterious ways. Sometimes he answers with a voice, other times through feelings, other times through others, and other times not at all.
I know God did not answer my friend’s payer at that moment. But, that does not mean God was not listening and that God does not care. If he searches his heart he will likely see that God was with him the entire time.
If I could tell my friend one thing, it would be that God does live and the feelings we felt on the phone as we talked about his life were from God.