I spent the last week in Las Vegas on a business trip. We decided to attend a trade show, which was a good idea. Due to my family situation and my hip, I did not make the arrangements for the show. I also delayed scheduling my hotel until I was certain which days I would be attending.
Over the last few months, there was some excitement about going, but I felt a bit uncomfortable due to where my coworkers had booked hotel rooms as well as the level of anticipation they were expressing. They were not excited for the event, but rather the partying they were anticipating. They booked rooms at the Golden Nugget on Fremont Street. Ultimately I had to attend the full show including set up and tear down. When I booked my room the Golden Nugget was full so I booked a room in an adjacent hotel.
The very first day I was there I tried to sit down and focus on church stuff and I struggled. It became progressively worse day by day. I felt burdened by the environment. The guys I was with were heavily drinking every night. One so much so that he was passing out nightly. The very first night I was there I saw a call girl leaving a client. Everywhere I went (not a lot of places) I was overwhelmed by the cigarette smoke and pot smoke. On top of all this, I felt weak. I had the most excruciating pain in my hip. Like nothing I have experienced since it was broken.
By the last day, we had several instances where our staff failed to perform duties due to intoxication and hangovers. We were all agitated with each other because people were becoming undependable. And I could recognize that I had not felt the spirit all week. I realized the spirit was nowhere near me and nowhere near where I was staying. And nowhere near the people I was traveling with.
I ended up driving home alone. We had to rent a truck, and I volunteered to drive it. It was very nice. It allowed me to focus for 6 hours driving home from Las Vegas to Salt Lake City. I have this routine I go through when I am in the car by myself for long periods of time. It allows me to channel my thoughts and feelings. I know it is kind of dumb, but it involves talking through some of my life experiences and singing some songs that I have written. Either way, the process really allows me to connect with my heavenly father. I did this and I felt the spirit so incredibly strong. So much so that I found myself crying as I drove. Then I listened to a number of conference talks.
I ended up on the conference talk by Elder Ballard, “Remember What Matters Most” Remember What Matters Most (churchofjesuschrist.org) I was overwhelmed as I listened to him talk about listening to and following the Spirit. Something I did not do on this trip.
I loved this that he shared: “I invite you to bear your testimony of Jesus Christ more often. Bear testimony of what you know and believe and what you feel, not just of what you are thankful for. Testify of your own experiences of coming to know and love the Savior, of living His teachings, and of His redemptive and enabling power in your life. As you bear testimony of what you know, believe, and feel, the Holy Ghost will confirm the truth to those who earnestly listen to your testimony. They will do so because they have watched you become a peaceful follower of Jesus Christ. They will see what it means to be His disciple. They will also feel something they may not have felt before. A pure testimony comes from a changed heart and can be carried by the power of the Holy Ghost into the hearts of others who are open to receive it.”