Do you cry during your testimony? I often do. It isn’t that I can’t control my emotions, it is that as I speak these feelings often overwhelms me and the physical makeup of my body leads to me choke up and cry. I attribute those overwhelming feelings to the Holy Ghost. Either way, I don’t like to do it because I feel like a blubbering fool when I do. But I will do it if I feel I need to.
I was watching Brother Brad Wilcox talk to someone the other day and he was talking about love and this deep-seated love he felt he was blessed to share with others. As he spoke about it, he become emotional talking about it. As I listened and saw the expression and depth of his emotion. I realized that some of the love he felt was expressed in his crying. There was genuine compassion for others that caused those emotions and tears.
I remember when I was young, around my mid-teens. I never cried unless I was hurt. I remember realizing one day that I felt as though I had no emotions. I didn’t seem to deeply care about anything or anyone including family, neighbors and friends. It could have been a phase, but it also could have been a lack of understanding or value for life. Maybe it was that I hadn’t yet had any deep emotional connection with anyone.
As I have grown, I have felt a deep emotional love for my family, my wife and children, especially with my children. It has made me realize how much my parents loved me, and I never could emotionally relate to it, until I had my own children. I have felt at times a deep gratitude and brotherly and Christlike love for neighbors and friends. I have felt an overwhelming gratitude and love for my Savior Jesus Christ. Especially as I learned of his atonement and sacrifice and eternal love for each of us.
As I have gotten older, I have found myself expressing my love through compassion and tears, both in happiness and sadness. When I feel the Holy Ghost come upon me there are times it brings me to tears. I know a few other men that do this as well. Because of that I know I am in good company crying in front of everyone. Pass the box of tissues. I’ll be done in a minute.
I would rather feel that love and compassion, rather than feeling numb.