I have been trying to lose weight before a surgery. I broke my pelvis 30 years ago in a bike accident. Anymore, it simple doesn’t work. Although I need to lose weight anyway, I realize I increase my ability to heal faster and decrease my chances of complications by doing so. I decided to lose weight by intermittent fasting. In my mind, I figured, well, if I’m going to fast, I might as well do it with Heavenly Father’s help by just making it a real fast. Otherwise, I’m just starving myself.
On the positive side, I have lost almost 40 lbs. which is awesome, and I feel healthier. I have also felt a lot of strength and self-control over many things.
On the negative side, this week I noticed I didn’t “fast” with God as much as I should have. I wasn’t quite sure I was going to fast most days, so I didn’t pray and start a fast. Then I ended up starving myself the normal time period and didn’t get anything spiritual out of it. I hit Friday night and after a long day of not eating, I stood on the scale and was depressed I had not seen more weight loss. I am reminded it is a long game.
So, I have felt mostly in tune with things spiritual, but I did have one strange experience this week. My wife struggles with a condition called trigeminal neuralgia. She developed it after a second bout with shingles. I remember when it first developed. Wow, talk about a difficult time. She was in so much pain she basically closed off the world including me and the kids. This condition started about 10 years ago. Over the last few weeks, she has been expressing that the condition has been “firing.” Firing is her term for it because it relates to how it feels. Sharp bursts of electrical shocks in her face.
It finally really hit her Thursday for the first time. We hoped it would have just been that single time. But, then of Friday it came on in a fury. She had a firing that lasted for about 45 minutes, then every 20-30 minutes through the day. It was so bad, they got in the car, Nicole and our neighbor Cherie, and tried to drive to the doctor’s office without and appointment. They wouldn’t see her. The drove to the neurologist and she wasn’t in. So, they drove home. About that time, I left work early and took her to the Insticare. It was above them and there was nothing they could do. She was so scared of it firing, and it was still firing every 20-30 minutes that we took her to the ER.
By some miracle the ER doctor seemed to know what we were talking about just off the top of his head. I realized beforehand it is hard to go into a doctor or clinic and claim undiagnosable pain like fibromyalgia. Trigeminal Neuralgia to me seems to fit in that category. But, by the grace of God he didn’t even need to look at a computer or read anything, he just walked in a made a few suggestions as though he knew exactly what she was experiencing.
Step one, we will give you a shot that ease the pain. She probably doesn’t want me to write about this, but they gave her a shot of Ketamine to see if that would settle things down. I was really surprised because in 5 seconds she was in what seemed like a vegetative state. Honestly, it kind of shocked me. But it wore off after about 10 minutes; after about 45 minutes she was mostly back to normal. Then the firing continued.
Step two, we will give you an alternative to Gavapaten which is the regular medication she takes to control it. Miraculously it seems to have helped.
But, that isn’t the thing I really wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about the blessing I gave her on Thursday night. She asked for a blessing. We had our neighbor Jeff come over and help. I have felt spiritually in tune, but I still wanted to give her the blessing God wanted her to have, not want I wanted her to have, so I spent some time praying before. I always take a few seconds to clear my mind when starting a blessing then just speak what comes to mind with the confidence that is the will of God. I did this and nothing came to mind. I waited a few second longer and nothing came to mind. As I quickly reasoned I figured I needed to give her a blessing. I tried the best I could to confidently give her a blessing.
I have reflected upon this a few times over the last few days.
1 – I could have said, I’m sorry, the Lord does not have a blessing for you at this time. Talk about crushing. I don’t think that does anything for anyone’s self-esteem or confident in a compassionate and loving God.
2 – I couldn’t have called down the powers of heaven to heal here. If God isn’t going to tell me what to say, why don’t I decide and use his power to just heal her. The hard part about this is that I didn’t feel it was Gods will simply heal her.
Remember the movie, Charlie. I never read the book, but I have seen the movie a few times. My good friend Adam Anderegg made the movie. I think it is a great movie. Anyhow, Charlie has cancer, and it is dying. Nicole isn’t dying of this, even though when it is firing, she wishes death upon herself. Her husband gives her multiple blessings commanding she be healed all the while knowing it wasn’t the will of God that she be healed at that time.
I guess there was some part of me knowing while giving that blessing that it was not the will of God to for her to be healed and never suffer from this more. So, I blessed her the best I could in the words I could piece together that she would be able to manage the pain.
Anyhow, it is now Sunday morning. She was able to go the full day Saturday without any firings. I did my best to create an environment where she could rest. In other words, I got the kids out of the house for a while. And she seems to be doing better.
I think the most visible miracles through this were:
- Nicole’s friend Cherie and her husband Jeff being available to help.
- Me leaving work when I did.
- The ER doctor having some insight into the condition and being able to help.