May 10, 1996
Today was an incredible day. I couldn’t believe it. It was [Elder’s] B-Day and we went to I-Hop International House of Pancakes. Very good. Zone meeting was good also. The whole day has been a Deja Vu. I dreamed this day. Everywhere I went everything I did, I had dreamed it all. I don’t know it was almost like a day of revelation. It was the weirdest feeling I can’t explain. It was just nuts. We may finally have baptisms. I’m learning a lot from my new companion. It’s like I know that my heavenly father wants me to have certain attributes. I know he is trying to get me to learn them. I dreamed them.
May 11, 1996
Boy, my second day of Deja Vu it’s weird, and the day was so excellent. We met a man named Jose today. He was with a member at their houses and we taught him 2 discussions, then we asked him to come to a Mother’s Day fiesta. He showed up with the member’s family and liked it. So we taught 3 more discussions and he committed for baptism tomorrow. The branch gave us so much food last night, I loved it. There is a feeling in the air, it is crazy. I’m realizing that this is just my companion’s personality and it is getting better. He is knowing he needs to share the responsibilities. My companionf speaks better Spanish than me. He had 3 years of Spanish in school.
May 12, 1996
Dia de madre.
First of all, we had a baptism today. Manuel the brother of Fatima got baptized. He is so cool. He’s going to be awesome in the church. We’ve tried so hard to get Fatmia to go to our branch and not go to Rego Park. The other fellow Jose didn’t get baptized, he wanted to wait and have his brother come and see it.
Some guy stopped us on the street wanting us to buy a shirt from him. My comp looked at the shirt then said, wow nice shirts. But I can’t buy one because it is Sunday. The guy turns around “This n***** won’t buy one because it’s Sunday. His friend said, Hay, some people are like that. It was just kinda like that, it was funny. Everyone in New York buys stuff on Sunday. It’s just another day. I caught the humor in it.
Steve in jail for selling heroin.
May 13, 1996
In our planning session today I told him I thought it was a good idea that we balanced things out. Sharing the responsibilities. We are going to share them.
I’m slaving. I’m studying, and I feel as though I’m not progressing. My Spanish is at a standstill. My learning is so slow. I know not what to do. My soul wants to cry out in bitter anguish, why won’t the hand of the Lord help me and just make me speak perfectly? Instead, I sit back in agony wishing my tongue was loosed and I was able to speak the words of the Lord? I hold on daily with a hope that the lord will have mercy on me. My brain is slow, even the elders who changed after me know more than me. Have a better vocabulary than I do. If only I hadn’t destroyed my brain. I know the Lord can help me, but why he chooses for me to learn like this? I don’t know. But what would I appreciate it if it were just given to me? Would it be a blessing or something to brag about? I know not the purposes of God but I do know this, when the time is right, the windows of heaven will be open and knowledge will seep into my brain.
People in New York throw down (fight) for no reason.
We were walking down the road today and a man came be-bopping along, singing loud “I’m a long long way from Home” over and over, my companion looks at me, ya I’m a lot longer way than you.